Anxiety....This is what I do; it's what I live for. I grew up with tons of anxiety. By the age of 20, I had already had about 8 panic attacks under my belt. Everyone was like, "Just go on medication!" But knowing me, there was no way I was taking that route. I wanted to learn and know everything about anxiety! I wanted to know the strategies to help myself, and 20 years later, here I am, teaching others how to do the same.
My motto is "Knowledge is Power." This is how I approach everything in life, and that's how I help my clients. If they don't know neuroscience and how their brain works, you can bet your bottom dollar that this is precisely what I will teach them and more. It's not just about coping strategies. Don't get me wrong, coping strategies are GREAT! However, coping strategies will not necessarily get you out of avoiding situations. Anxiety hates being uncomfortable, so it avoids all situations that make the person feel out of control.
I know our brain is neuroplastic. This means that it can change. Historically, the brain was thought to stop changing at around 35. However, scientists have found that our brains can continually change throughout our lifetime. I have seen incredible things happen when the brain changes. In practice, I have seen kids and teens go from, "There is NO WAY I would EVER do that!" to "Guess what I did this week?" It's impressive, really, really amazing, and just one of the many reasons I love to do what I do!
But there's a catch. If the individual isn't willing to change, not much will help. I say this sometimes: I can talk until I'm blue in the face, but nothing will get better until you're willing to change and try. With just a little push, a little, "I know that you can do it!" things in the brain eventually DO change. Here's just a little glimpse of how I show the kids I work with how to get out of their heads and into their lives:
Teach Teach Teach- Yes, I am a therapist, but I am also my client's teacher. I teach them and their parents everything they need to know about anxiety. If there is a skill they need to learn, I teach them that as well. I am in the business of teaching skills. It is the number two predictor of children getting better (right behind a good therapeutic relationship). It is knowing and understanding. I also make sure to include the parents because anxiety is a family disorder. We want to make sure everyone knows what to do.
Expose Them to the Thing that Scares Them- You heard that right. So many parents want their children to just be happy and comfortable. Here's a little secret. You are doing your child a huge disservice, and I am saying this in the most compassionate way possible. We want our kids to experience a range of emotions (including anxiety). That way, they know they can handle it when they are in the thick of it!
Be Their Biggest Cheerleader- If you've been a client of mine, you've probably seen me jump up and down, do a little dance, or send a video to clients who have done something they never thought possible. I celebrate their every triumph because even though it might seem small (asking the librarian for a book), to them, it's big, and to me, it's big! But besides that, it shows me their brain is starting to change, and that's HUGE!!!
In conclusion (hahaha, that sounds so sciency), anxiety is super treatable. With Education, cognitive behavioral therapy, exposure, and some excitement, we can start becoming the boss of our anxiety! Remember, if you don't have the tools, try contacting a therapist in your area.
Is there a topic you would like for me to cover? Please send me an email at mwells@thesocialmindcounseling!
Monica Wells, LMHC, CCATP-CA is a psychotherapist who helps children get out of their unhelpful thought patterns and into their lives. She also helps kids/teens who are neurodivergent understand and live their most empowered lives.
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